Thursday, September 21, 2006

THE G-SPOT

The G-Spot confuses many people.

Just like an urban legend, nobody knows whether to believe in it or not.

The thought that women have this “magical button” that provides sensational amounts of pleasure sounds a little too good to be true – especially from a man’s perspective.

Well, men, be forewarned that the G-Spot is no myth! This legend is for real…

The G-Spot is a term named after the German doctor who discovered the erogenous zone, Ernst Grafenberg.

Where is it?
The G-Spot is a small mass of tissue that is located 2 inches from the vaginal opening. It is on the anterior of the vaginal wall, and it enlarges during stimulation.

How does it work?
The G-Spot is directly connected to the orgasm center in the brain. So, when it is stimulated and orgasm occurs, the female sexual response is highly intense.

This erogenous zone can only be felt when the female is aroused – the area then swells with blood and becomes roughed and raised. Once aroused, intense sexual pleasure ensues.
How do you make it work?
The G-Spot only responds to pressure, not to touch, so not just any position will do. This is why so many women find it difficult to find their own G-Spots.
Many women find that being on top or in a sitting position during intercourse is the best arrangement for stimulating the G-Spot.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Senaman kemut

Petikan daripada Harian Metro:

Nama senaman kemut mungkin agak melucukan. Namun, di dalam kesihatan, senaman ini mempunyai banyak khasiat untuk organ seksual sama ada lelaki atau wanita.
Senaman kemut membabitkan mencengkam otot pembukaan lubang najis dan lubang kencing atau otot lantai pelvis seolah-olah seperti mahu menahan kencing atau air besar dan ia harus dilakukan serentak.
Tidak dinafikan apabila seseorang melakukan senaman kemut, perasaan kurang selesa akan berlaku dengan lelaki akan berasa lubang najis tersempal dan jika membuang air besar akan mengalami sembelit.
Bagi mereka yang ada buasir pula penyakit itu menjadi ketara dan menyakitkan tetapi sebaliknya kepada wanita apabila melakukan senaman ini, mereka akan berasa terangsang, terutama jika kedua-dua paha dirapatkan.
Bagaimanapun, jika paha direnggangkan sedikit, mungkin rasa terangsang itu kurang atau tiada. Cara melakukan senaman kemut untuk lelaki ialah dengan merapatkan kedua-dua pehanya dan mencengkam lubang najis dan lubang kencing sekali gus dengan padat serta tahan nafas seketika antara 3-5 saat sebelum legakan kemutan dan ulangi sehingga 10 kali.
Lakukannya lima kali sehari dan setiap kali, cengkam 10 kali. Ketika melakukan senaman kemut, seseorang lelaki itu perlu berada dalam keadaan selesa termasuk sudah membuang air besar dan kecil.
Antara khasiat senaman kemut ialah dapat membina otot benteng pangkal zakar yang mana jika zakar ereksi, mengemut dapat memadatkan pangkal zakar dan menolak serta memerah darah hala ke depan sekali gus menyebabkan penghujung zakar lebih padat dan kembang seolah-olah zakar kelihatan besar di depan.
Untuk wanita, amalan kemut dapat melangsing dan melegakan corong faraj sekali gus menyempitkan pembukaan faraj yang renggang.Dengan corong faraj yang sempit dan kemas, angin tidak mudah masuk ketika wanita itu bergerak dan hubungan kelamin tidak akan berbunyi saperti angin keluar dan masuk.Amalan mengemut dapat membantu melangsingkan otot kemutan dan membantu mengintimkan hubungan dengan pasangan kerana akan menjadikan aktiviti seksual lebih seronok dan merangsangkan.
Senaman kemut tidak akan dapat membina zakar menjadi panjang atau besar seperti mana yang dipaparkan dalam internet yang mendakwa kaedah pembesaran zakar dengan cara senaman kemut yang kononnya amalan orang Arab.Yang pasti, senaman kemut dapat memberi tenaga dan kekuatan apabila zakar yang sedang ereksi itu dikemutkan akan mudah bergerak dengan lancar di dalam faraj.
Malah, mengemut juga mengekalkan ereksi dan dapat bergerak serta mengubah posisi sekali gus merendahkan kemungkinan darah terkeluar daripada otot zakar. Selain itu, jika menggerakkan zakar dilakukan ke dalam faraj dengan keadaan lelaki itu sedang mengemut, pasangan akan dapat merasai nikmat yang lebih dan mudah mencapai klimaks. Gerakan zakar juga dapat dikawal dalam keadaan kemut. Justeru, amalan dan senaman kemut dapat menjaga kekuatan ereksi sehingga ke liang lahad!

Friday, September 15, 2006

FEMALE ORGASM 2: What the heck is ORGASM? Will the CUM flow out?

Having good sex is important! Many people can not say that. It goes without saying that the point of sex, contrary to popular belief is not having an ‘orgasm,’ but rather the process of being sexually intimate with yourself and/or others.

Remember the days when you first kissed a boy or a girl and you were satisfied? During that first kiss, or first ‘heavy petting’ experience, the world felt like it was going to stop. There was no orgasm, yet you were completely satisfied.

Ok, so if you want to be ‘goal’ oriented, how will you know if you have ‘achieved’ an orgasm. During an orgasm you will experience a series of PC (puboccygeal) muscle contractions. To locate the PC muscle, try stopping your urine, mid-flow. The muscle that you use to stop yourself from urinating mid-flow is called the PC muscle. Some women report that these contractions feel like you are sneezing, except that this sensation stems from your genital area and not your nose. The contractions will feel out of your control. In the moment, like a sneeze, you will be unable to stop the contraction.

Will the ‘cum flow out,’ the answer is yes and no. A small percentage of the population during orgasm will experience, what is called, Female Ejaculation. During female ejaculation fluid is expelled from the urethra. This fluid is not to be mistaken for urine, because it is made from a different substance.

However, the majority of women will not experience this. They may merely experience an increase in vaginal lubrication.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

FEMALE ORGASM 1: Learning how to orgasm through intercourse

One of the most common complaints of women is failure to reach orgasm during coitus. This is not surprising. Coitus is one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman. While coitus does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman's clitoral area is nothing compared to direct manipulation.
Stimulation is limited to the traction of the clitoral hood by the thrusting penis (or dildo), and some pressure by the pelvic bone to the clitoral hood. Unless the woman has a very low threshold for clitoral stimulation, it is almost ludicrous to think that mere penile-vaginal intercourse is sufficient for an orgasm.
Given the fact that most women will never orgasm through coitus alone, do not worry. Many techniques exist to facilitate a woman having an orgasm and having great sex!
To increase stimulation to a woman's clitoral area during coitus, there are several option:
  1. Increase the pressure from the male's pelvic bone, exerted onto the female's clitoral hood. In other words, do a little bit of grinding. Try moving up and down or side to side. During this period of experimentation, communication between the two of you will be extremely important (i.e. "too hard, too soft, ooh - I like it better this way, and yep - that sure feels good").
  2. While the woman is in the top position, assuming full control of all the movements, the man should lie flat on his back, pelvic tilted upward, stomach muscles tightened and back flat against the ground, and lie perfectly still. He then should take his right thumb (if he is right-handed) and place it approximately halfway between his bellybutton and penis. This way as his partner thrusts forward, her clitoris will rub against his finger. Many women find this extra stimulation pleasurable, especially because her thrusting motion controls the degree of stimulation that she will receive.
  3. Maintaining the same positions, with woman on top, an on bottom, the woman should remain perfectly still. Please note, while she is on top, she should tense her inner thigh muscles and her vagina should fully engulf the man's penis. In this position, the man can easily apply direct manipulation/stimulation to her clitoris with his hand. To increase the stimulation, the woman (only after 5 minutes) could SLOWLY rotate her hips, and/or move her vagina up and down along the shaft of his penis.
  4. The woman can masturbate. She can masturbate from any sexual position. Probably, the easiest thing to do in the beginning is to have the man and woman both lie still, so that the woman begins her masturbation, with his penis deep inside of her - without the distraction of movements. Then as her excitement begins to increase, they both can slowly resume their coitus movements.
  5. There are MANY more ways to combine manual stimulation with intercourse. But the basic gist is this: whatever sexual position the two of you are in, be it doggie-style, side-by-side, missionary, or sitting, take a moment and stop mid-position. Then take turns stimulating the clitoral area. As the two of you acclimate to this additional form of stimulation, and have figured out how to minimize the awkwardness of whatever position the two of you happen to be in at the moment, increase the pelvic thrusting motions.
  6. For the more adventurous and willing to be focused on pure female pleasure . . . The woman lies on the bottom, legs tightly held together. The man lies on top, legs spread out. Instead of being directly in line with her, the man should be at a slight diagonal. In other words, one foot should be closer to her, than his other foot. In addition, his head should be 6 inches to the right (or left, depending on which diagonal he is on) and his head should be about 1 foot above her head (so that her head reaches his shoulder). This position is designed to enhance female clitoral stimulation. It does so by maximizing the rubbing potential between the male pelvic bone and the female clitoris.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

LASTING TOO LONG?

Question: The past few times that my girlfriend and I have had sex, I either ended up lasting about 45 min-1 hour, or we gave up and she finished me off with oral sex because I was taking so long and it became painful for her. Is this strange, or is it something that is normal?
Answer: Your situation, while unpleasant is normal. Some men, like women have a difficult time having an orgasm. There are two primary ways to deal with this situation. First, stop using an orgasm as the defining moment of when “sex” stops. This means that sometimes you will stop engaging in oral sex and/or intercourse prior ejaculation. Try switching from intercourse, to quite conversations to breast stimulation, to snuggling, anal sex, to toe sucking to manual genital stimulation etc. The point is, change the order. The final moment is not ejaculation. The final moment is when you reach a combination of the physical stimulation and intimacy that develops between two people sharing their mind and bodies together. If you are still having trouble with this, try setting an alarm clock, that way you will stop “trying” before either one of you becomes discouraged. The second way of approaching this type of situation is to ask yourself what you are thinking about during intercourse. Many men (and women) who ‘last too long’ have difficulty maintaining focus on the pleasurable aspects of stimulation. Sometimes people become too obsessed on the actual moment of ejaculation, so they try to hurry themselves, thus no longer being able to enjoy the build-up. Others find their mind wandering to sports, work related stresses, dislikes about self or partner and some even on how ‘dirty’ sex is. If this is the case for you, then each time you find your mind wandering stop what you are doing. Ask your partner to help you keep focused. Have her read a sexual fantasy to you, or whisper sexual thoughts in your ear. Get verbal together.

Tip pikat isteri

  1. SENTIASA mengingati masa indah dan kenangan bersama isteri seperti tarikh mula berkenalan, tempat pertemuan, janji temu pertama, ulang tahun perkahwinan, tarikh lahir isteri.
  2. UCAPKAN perkataan sayang sekurang-kurang sekali sehari. Wanita itu amat suka perkataan sedemikian tetapi lelaki sering kali melupakan ucapan keramat itu apatah lagi yang sudah lama berkahwin.
  3. APABILA isteri menunjukkan sesuatu mesej seperti berpakaian cantik, lelaki perlu peka bahawa ada perkara mahu disampaikan isteri seperti tarikh hari lahir.
  4. PAKAI pakaian yang cantik dengan bauan yang memikat ketika bersama isteri kerana isteri sukakan sesuatu yang harum dan menyegarkan. Sering kali lelaki lupa tanggung jawab mereka dan asyik menyalahkan isteri terutama yang lama berkahwin.
  5. JANGAN terus mengutuk atau mengkritik jika makanan yang dimasak isteri kurang sedap, tawar atau masin. Sebaiknya beri teguran yang lembut yang tidak menyinggung isteri.
  6. UNTUK menghidupkan suasana romantik terutama pasangan yang lama berkahwin, apa kata sekali sekala hadiahkan mawar merah untuk isteri.
  7. SERING kali lelaki yang mempunyai anak kurang mempedulikan isteri dan mempunyai lebih masa dengan anak. Cuba bahagikan masa sama rata antara anak dan isteri.

MALE ORGASM: How to last longer

Many men complain of premature ejaculation. The good news is that this problem tends to respond to sex therapy. Clearly, if you are reading this tip, you may be thinking about this issue, but not ready to go to a sex therapist for information and help. If that is the case, then you have come to the right location. The next series of tips are devoted to what steps you will take for yourself so that you too can learn how to maintain an erection and look at some proven ejaculation dysfunction solutions.

In case you are wondering what exactly is a premature ejaculator, it is a person who on a regular basis ejaculates before he and his partner are satisfied. In other words, lovemaking (penal-vaginal or anal intercourse) is disappointing. According to Helen Kaplan, "the essence of prematurely is lack of adequate voluntary control over the ejaculatory reflex". These men experience ejaculation continence. Thus, it follows that men who prematurely ejaculate have not learned to recognize the pre-cursor sensations to ejaculation. This can be seen as similar to a young child learning to control her/his bladder. In the beginning children do not recognize the signal(s) that their body is giving them about the degree to which their bladder is full until it is too late. As a child ages, she/he develops an awareness of when she/he needs to urinate, control of bladder muscles and an understanding that the more liquid consumed, the greater the need to urinate.

A typical adult male not only has relative control over the timing of when he lets himself urinate, but when he lets himself ejaculate. Yet, as a human, there are times when even the man with the best control finds himself in a long car ride with a desperate need to urinate and is forced to pull over to the side of the road to relieve himself, or extremely sexually turned on and ejaculates before he ideally would like to. It happens. This only becomes problematic when the loss of control happens frequently enough to impair your day-to-day life. Recognizing the sensation(s) of the pre-cursory signs for the need to urinate or ejaculate are critical to the treatment process.

There are two primary treatments for premature ejaculation: the Stop & Start Method & the Squeeze Technique. Personally I prefer the stop & start technique. I believe that it is easier to learn and has fewer ways to go wrong. I will focus on two ways that the stop & start technique is taught. For the sake of explaining both techniques, I will explain it to you as if you are in a heterosexual relationship. Clearly some of you are in a homosexual relationship, single, or just plain curious. If this is the case, then even if the wording feels awkward to you, the information will be useful for you.

Word of Caution: Both techniques are male in focus. The exercises centers around pleasuring the male. Many women will get a lot of pleasure also because in the long run they will be able to start to be better satisfied because their partner's erection will be maintained. Second he will feel better about himself in bed, and thus she will derive pleasure from his positive energy. Do note, that because the exercises are male focused, that at times the female will need her time for direct sexual pleasuring. This may mean giving her manual, oral, vaginal & anal stimulation prior to beginning each exercise or doing it afterwards, or alternating days. In the beginning the two of you may be so excited to begin that this feels like a non-issue. But, for most couples whom I have worked with this issue does surface. Therefore, the two of you should take some time now to discuss how the helping partner (the female) will have her needs sexually satisfied (i.e. oral sex, masturbation...)throughout the formal set of exercises that you are both about to embark upon.

First, the husband and wife should begin lovemaking. As soon as the husband's penis becomes erect, they need to stop. Then he lays down on his back and the wife proceeds to masturbate him. During this time, the husband must focus on the sexual sensations that he feels. As soon as he begins to feel like he is going to orgasm, he must tell his wife to stop. This procedure should be repeated 5 times in a row. After the fifth time, he should offer to pleasure his wife (oral/manual stimulation). This is important because she has just spent a considerable amount of time pleasuring her man and may want some sexual attention also. Before moving on to the next exercise, make sure the two of you feel comfortable with this exercise. Successful completion means, that for three nights in a row, you will be able to tell your wife to stop prior to orgasm, enabling your need to orgasm to abate. You will have achieved the beginning stage of control.

The second stage is to engage in the same foreplay, your partner masturbating you, but this time with the help of some lubrication. I recommend Astroglide. In my opinion, this is the best stuff on the market. But if other subscribers have different thoughts please feel free to let me know, and I will post your responses. Repeat the above procedure; the sensations may be stronger because she is not only touching you with her hands, but there is lubrication. If per chance, you ejaculate before you are mentally prepared, your partner will admonish you for not taking better care to feel your sexual sensations. She will redirect your attention to focus more selfishly on your own bodily feelings.

The third stage consists of the man and woman engaging in coitus (sex). The woman should be in the top position and the man on bottom. He then guides her thrusting movements with his hands. When he comes close to having an orgasm, he stops her. Together they wait until his intense sensations abate. After his sensations have substantially decreased, he again guides her thrusting movements. This process should be repeated five times for four days in a row.
For most couples to accomplish the above tasks will take 2-6 weeks. Congratulate yourselves for your hard work. To truly achieve delayed ejaculations may take several additional months of practice, but you will be well on your way to having learned successful control. With this new found control you will be in a much more superior position to pleasure both yourself and your wife.

For those of you who do not quite feel comfortable with the first form of the Stop & Start Technique there is a second version, which still depends upon the same set of assumptions. People who suffer from premature ejaculation do not recognize the erotic sensations that they feel as they approach the point of no return, which is the point just prior to orgasm. To learn control, you must slow down the process. The overall, theme to the second approach is identifying the sensations based on a numbers approach. The numbers may vary a bit depending on what you consider to be sexually exciting. I have merely suggested a few which others have thought helpful. What the male will need to do is to take the next week or more, both by himself, and with his partner to name exactly what sensations each different numbers represent. Zero being the least sensations, and one hundred being the most.

Zero = a flaccid penis with no sexual thoughts or energy
Five = an erect penis with minimal sexual thoughts and/or energy
Ten = ears being nibbledFifteen = reading sexy stories together
Twenty = breast stimulation
Forty = slow penal stimulation
Fifty = slow oral stimulation of your penis
Eighty = medium paced penal-vaginal intercourse
Ninety-nine = point of no return
One Hundred = orgasm

Now that you have a number system this will be your primary way of communicating with your partner (and yourself) what sensation you are feeling at any given point in time. If she is stimulating you to orgasm from manual stimulation you should be able to tell her at every different junction what number you are feeling. It may only be a matter of five seconds before you orgasm, but within those five seconds you should be able to say 2,5, 38, 69, 88, 99, 100. If the numbers are rising very rapidly you are exactly where you want to be. If you are able to take longer approaching each number, then you are slightly ahead of the game. Do not think for a moment that you are in any position to skip any of the below steps. It just means that you might have an easier time achieving each step. Developing control over your premature ejaculation will take time. It does not happen overnight.

Now, like in the first way of treating a premature ejaculation, after the man has become sexually aroused and has an orgasm, he should lie down on his back and the woman should begin to masturbate him with her hands. This time do not allow him to achieve higher than a 20 from the scale of 1-100 which measures his level of excitement. After he has achieved the 20, she must stop and wait until his penis returns to its flaccid state.

After he is flaccid this process begins again. This cycle repeats for 5 days. On the fifth day, the wife should stimulate him until he reaches a 25. When he reaches level 25, she must stop and wait for him to return to his flaccid state. This cycle of reaching a 25 and then stopping repeats until he is able to master this process for three days in a row. After the husband is able to reach a level 50, the woman must stop what she is doing until his feelings of excitement return to level 25 (the degree of sensations on a scale of 1-100). This process repeats all the way up until he can tell his wife that he is not only at level 98, and she is able to successfully stop while his sensations abate to the mid-twenties, but he is able to tell the difference between level 97 and 98. Expect that this exercise will take 1-3 months to achieve.

Having achieved success, the two of you are now ready to begin the next phase. This assignment is progressively harder, but operates with the same principals. Instead of simply using manual stimulation, the wife should combine lubrication and manual stimulation. After the two of you are able to complete this process, try using fellatio (which is a blow-job/giving head). However, in these two phases, you can spend one day on achieving each number at five point increments. If you find yourself having difficulty maintaining control, then feel free to take slightly longer at each stage and try moving by one-point increments. The purpose of using a one hundred point scale is not to bore/tire you to death, or make this process take any longer than necessary. Rather the purpose is to help the two of you to slow down enough so that you the man can really feel and recognize each stage and be extremely aware of all the different sexual sensations that he is experiencing. This is critical to his developing control of his ejaculations.

Now the two of you are ready for penal-vaginal intercourse. By now I am sure the two of you can expect that the one hundred-point scale will be used to help the two of you out again. As in the first stop & start technique, the woman is in the top position and the man is on the bottom. He again helps to control her hip movements. When he reaches the sensation of a 20, he must tell her to stop and wait until his penis returns to a flaccid state. After he has become flaccid, the two of you will begin again to pleasure each other (while the man's penis is inside the woman). This may mean mouth-to-mouth stimulation (i.e. kissing), ear nibbling, breast-fondling/caressing, dirty talk . . . . Once the man's penis is erect begin again with the thrusting of the hips. After reaching a level of 20 stop. Each day, increase the degree of sensation by five points. If any point seems to cause you difficulty, break the steps down into the actual five incremental steps (31,32,33,34,45). There is no need to rush each other. The two of you are not going anywhere. Besides, good sex requires lots and lots of practice. Good sex is not something that is learned overnight. Ok, once the man has reached a level 40, his goal is to let his sexual sensations abate until his level of sexual excitement is at a 20. This continues until the man has achieved a level of 98.

By the time the man has reached a level of 98 sexual excitement and been able to tell his partner to stop during manual, oral and penal-vaginal intercourse the problem of premature ejaculation has become a problem of the past. There is almost no need to orgasm any longer - unless you want to. Smile - Congratulations!